


The Tailor Who Cried Wolf

by GoodbyeBlueMonday



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Comedy, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Takes place in late season 3, mentioned Jadzia Dax/Leeta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26626483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodbyeBlueMonday/pseuds/GoodbyeBlueMonday
Summary: Garak keeps approaching Julian complaining of illnesses, but Julian can never seem to discover anything wrong with him. What is the tailor really after, and what is Julian Bashir going to do about it?
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 7
Kudos: 61





	The Tailor Who Cried Wolf

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ConceptaDecency](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConceptaDecency/gifts).



> Written for the prompt of "what if Garak approached Julian the way Leeta does, with that fake little cough?" but as you can see, the idea of Garak dramatically and obviously faking illness to get Julian's attention ran away with me, and I banged this out in the space of about an hour. Unbowed, unbent, unbeta'd... I hope it's still a good one!

"Oh, my dear doctor," Garak sighed dramatically as he slithered up to Julian Bashir in the replimat.

"What's up, Garak?" The doctor put down his PADD, where he'd been looking over the results of the latest research on Bolian flu. "This isn't our usual lunch day. I didn't think you'd want to eat together."

"It's not about that," the Cardassian began. "It's just that, while I was hemming your trousers for your new holosuite adventure, I think I may have pulled a muscle in my leg."

Julian's face dropped in concern. "Oh dear. Why don't you sit down, and we'll have a look-see at what's wrong?" He put his hand at the small of Garak's back as he steered him toward the table. Garak pretended not to react to the doctor touching him there—it was hardly the first time—but he felt its heat like a brand.

As he scanned over Garak's limbs, Julian's face screwed up, in nervous concentration. "Are you sure it's the _right_ leg? Not the left?"

"I'm quite sure, Doctor. The pain is considerable." Garak gasped dramatically and leaned back in his chair.

"I just ask because I'm not noticing anything unusual. Even a slight pull—nothing. Will you let me scan the other one?"

"Of course, dear."

Julian continued to scan and his expression only grew more puzzled. "That's odd, I'm not noticing anything with either leg. Let's check some other things. Your back, perhaps? Can you stand up?"

But no matter how many times Julian scanned Garak's body, he couldn't find anything out of the ordinary with him.

After fifteen minutes of scanning desperately, Julian gave up. "Well, I'm not really sure what to do except tell you to lie down for a bit. Do you have a place to do that in your shop?" Julian could have ordered him to close the shop and return to his quarters, but this didn't seem to warrant that.

"Yes, in the back." Garak groaned as he stood up, again clutching at his heart. Julian quickly grabbed his arms before he could fall back into the chair. "I may need some assistance…"

"Of course, of course. I'll walk you back." Julian proceeded to do so, lunch forgotten.

-

A few days later, Julian was chatting up the newest dabo girl—a petite, chirpy Andorian named Kivv—when Garak approached him again, now clutching at his head.

All thoughts of running fingers through white hair and across blue skin vanished from his mind. "Garak, are you okay?"

"I seem to have hit my head, doctor." Garak started to stumble into a seat, but before he could, Julian stopped him.

"Head injuries are very serious! I'll need to get you to the infirmary immediately." Garak could hear the panic in his voice; the doctor was talking even faster than usual. As he began leading away, he breathlessly began to apologize to the Andorian. "Until next time, Kivv—"

"It's alright, Doctor, you do what you've gotta do," she purred, though her eyes were on the tailor. She gave Garak a knowing look that he didn't return.

As Julian maneuvered Garak into a seat in the infirmary, he finally was able to scan him with his tricorder. And yet—

"There's nothing wrong with your head, Garak," he said, squinting at the reading. "Not with your brain, not with your skull… Nothing indicating any recent head trauma."

"Ah, well, I could have just bumped it, but I wanted to see you to make sure—"

"No, there's nothing indicating your head even hit a hard surface at all." Julian thought for a moment, and then sighed. "Are you telling me the truth, Garak? Or is there some other reason you want to be here?"

Garak looked nervous for a moment, not an expression Julian was used to seeing on his duplicitous friend. But it was just a second, before he steeled his features again and grinned. "Alright, doctor, you've got me. I've been having head _aches_ lately, and I was wondering if there were any treatments you could recommend."

"So it wasn't that urgent after all." Julian snorted.

"I'm afraid not, but I had been putting it off…"

"And it's still important. Alright, talk to me about your symptoms and I'll tell you what I'd recommend." He sighed. "But next time, Garak, perhaps you could schedule an appointment like everyone else?"

-

Julian was making conversation with one of his patients, a young Orion science ensign who'd come in complaining of cramps, when all of a sudden Garak rushed into the infirmary.

The nurses got up and looked at him in alarm, and it didn't take long for Julian to notice and turn his eyes toward his friend. "Garak, what's wrong?"

"I seem to feel a bit queasy…I think I need to sit down."

Julian rushed over to him and crouched down, putting his hands on the back of Garak's chair where he'd slumped. "And you don't think you just had too much kanar at Quark's last night?"

"No, it's more severe than that, and I didn't drink at all last night."

"I find that hard to believe," Julian said, "but alright, I'll take your word for it. Let me just get my scanner here—"

"No, can you just get me something to calm my stomach?"

Julian raised his eyebrows quizzically. "Garak, I can't know what you need without scanning you. Are you faking again?"

"I wasn't! I—alright. You are the medical expert here, I shouldn't question you in this domain."

Julian groaned as he grabbed the tricorder and began. "Once again, I'm not noticing anything unusual about any of your relevant bodily systems." He put it away and examined his friend. "Garak, really, what is going on?"

"Maybe I did have a bit too much last night." Garak said as he got up, suddenly not clutching his stomach.

"Maybe you should just be honest with me. Or at least…lie _better_. I know you're more than capable of it," Julian said, smirking at the Cardassian as he made his way toward the door.

Garak seemed to stop a moment to take in Julian's expression, before he exited on to the promenade.

-

Julian was talking with Leeta and Jadzia at Quark's bar, proposing they join him and Miles in their next game of darts, when Garak was suddenly at his side yet again.

"What now, Garak?" Julian groaned, having a feeling this was another of the Cardassian's games.

"You'll have to examine me again, doctor. I'm afraid I've come down with a cough." Garak raised his hands to his mouth and let out the smallest, and least authentic, cough that Julian Bashir had ever heard in his life.

He looked at his companions, both of whom were now staring askew at Garak. Leeta then began to giggle. "Dr. Bashir, that sounds like the _cough_ I had the other day." She winked knowingly at Julian.

"Maybe it's catching. I think you'll have to scan me again, Doctor," Garak responded, considerably less giggly.

Julian, noticing Leeta's wink, decided to play along. "Yes, I'd better take you to the infirmary right away to ensure you don't infect anyone else." He smirked at the women as he led Garak away, sure that they—especially Jadzia—could see how he was barely containing himself.

Once they were out of the bar, Julian let go of his friend and doubled on him. "Garak, what on Earth are you doing? You really think that I'm a fool, that I will just keep rescuing you when I know you're lying to me again and again? And what—" He stammered. "What are you even trying to do with this?"

"Doctor, I really am worried that here on the promenade, I might infect someone else. Perhaps we should go somewhere more private—"

"No, Garak, I'm not falling for it this time. This is just like that story I told you, of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, and you're not even taking your own advice and varying your lies!" He sighed into his hand, leaning his elbow against the wall. "You know, if you wanted to hang out with me more, you could have just _asked_ me."

"Really, Doctor, when you're always with these beautiful women, it doesn't seem like you'd have time for me."

"I still have lunch with you twice a week, I talk to you all the time on the Promenade. And you could just _come up to me_ when I'm talking to them. I'd hear you out at least."

"I saw the way you pushed away Dax when you were with that Bajoran girl—Leela, I believe her name was? And she's one of your dearest friends."

"It's _Leeta_ , and…" Julian sighed and looked away, steeling himself before he quietly admitted, "And you're different."

"Am I now, Julian?" Understanding and a real, genuine smile lit up Garak's face, and Julian inhaled as he noticed the change in address. "But you seem to keep chasing these women anyway."

"I-I just…" Julian stammered, frustrated. He had hoped they were on the precipice of something, but wasn't it just like Garak to take two steps back? "You've been so distant lately, you've been spending more time with _Odo_ than me! You do things that make me believe there's potential for us to be more than friends, but then you do something else that makes me wonder if you even like me at all. _And-and-and_ Leeta is dating _Jadzia_ now anyways, so you have no reason to be jeal—"

Garak surged forward and cut off Julian's rant with a kiss, clutching the human's face in his scaly hands. Once he realized what was going on, Julian responded in kind, wrapping his arms around Garak's shoulders (leading Garak to gasp into his mouth) and pressing back into him. He wasn't sure how long they were at it, but only that every second was sheer joy, and the fleeting thought that someone walking past might see them was one Julian easily dismissed as unimportant.

Eventually, they separated, still holding on to each other's hands. Garak was grinning beatifically down at him, and Julian was sure the smile on his face was positively _dopey_ with glee. Garak didn't seem to care. "Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight at the Bajoran restaurant, my dearest doctor?"

Julian found himself laughing, happily, at the endearment—at the way the energy between them had so suddenly changed for the better. "Will you stop lying to me about being sick when you want to see me?"

"I suspect I won't need to _contrive_ reasons to see you much longer," Garak said as he leaned back toward Julian, and the doctor eagerly met him for another kiss as he pulled him toward a quieter corner of the promenade.


End file.
